Tuesday, November 22, 2011

My Baby



       This is my baby today, sweet and precious in every way. She is smiley and cute and you just want to hold her close and give her kisses all day long. She is the last baby my body will ever produce and I just can't get enough of her. I'm looking at her picture and thinking of her and I can't help but feel nostalgic about the fact that I will never have another baby look at me and see 'Mommy'. Another baby will never depend on me the way she does, never get their food from my body. I'll never again have sleepless nights with just me and a newborn sitting in the glow of the T.V. while I nurse them and look into their eyes.
      I am trying so hard to enjoy her in every way but that voice inside my head keeps creeping up and whispering 'she is growing, she is changing'. And then my mind goes crazy and I see her going to kindergarten, graduating, moving out, meeting boys... I love seeing my kids grow but there is that part of me inside who just wants to hold on to that baby and see those little feet and hands and smell that sweet breath. Oh God, don't get me started on the baby breath.
      I know it must sound silly for me to be saying this since she isn't even 3 months old yet but the voice is true because, she is growing and she is changing. I will never get these days back, they are gone forever only to be looked at in photographs and videos. 
       Now that I'm all sentimental I think I'll go cuddle my baby and drink in that sweet breath and kiss those baby toes and hands. Aubrey, Brandon and Emma -

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.

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