Saturday, May 5, 2012

Top 5 Ways My Son Has Embarrassed Me .... Lately

Brandon continues to astonish and befuddle me. 

Boys ... are ... strange.

In the beginning, he was normal. He did the same things any baby would do and even in his early toddler years he was on pretty much the same path as Aubrey had been. Walking, talking, learning and playing.

Then, things started to get weird.

He was becoming a boy.

So here we are, 2 years old and he is just waaayyy out there. 

And to show you what I mean, I've compiled the top 5 ways he has embarrassed me ... lately. And I put lately because he embarrasses me all the time but here are the most recent incidences. 

1. He shot me with a popcorn kernel!!! FROM HIS NOSE!!! Yes, that's right. He stuffed a kernel so far up his nose I was contemplating having to take him to the hospital. While I'm sitting there eyeballing the kernel and weighing my options he takes a huge breath and shoots the snot ridden kernel right onto my chest where it proceeds to go down my shirt. YUCK!!!

2. He has no filter. He calls me names in public and tells old ladies at the park how he likes running around naked. Yes, poor Grandma. Thank goodness she could not understand what he was talking about and I was not about to translate. 

3. He pee's whenever and wherever he feels like it. We live on the corner in a subdivision. There have been many times where I turn around and he's letting it all hang out and having target practice in the front yard. Of course I always act shocked and very disturbed just so the cars that are going by know that I do not encourage this behavior.

4. He points out my boobs. IN PUBLIC! Things like:

Mommyyyy, I see yo' booooobiiieeesss!!!

Mommy got boooobbbiiieeess!!!

5. For this last one I need to take a deep breath. Because this was by far the most embarrassing thing he has ever done.

To set the scene: Soccer field, Aubrey is practicing. I'm sitting in my chair holding and playing with Emma. Her stroller is parked next to me with my purse stuffed in the under basket.

Usually while Aubrey is practicing Brandon has a great time running around and playing. That's what I assumed he was doing when I didn't see or hear him.

BUUUT NOOOOO!!! If I don't see or hear him, I know something has got to be up.

I just happened to look over my shoulder and see him sitting behind the stroller. He was casually going through my purse. Okay, not so bad I can handle that.

UNTIL I look down and see that he has pulled out all of my .... *ahem* feminine products and dis-assembled them piece by piece!!!!!!! And he had them strewn all around behind my chair.

AAAAHHHHHH!!!! WHY, oh WHY!!!???

Of course I was freaking out! On the inside that is!

I calmly (kind of) told him to put all that "stuff" back and to get out of my purse.

I'm still praying that no one noticed .... YEA RIGHT!! They were everywhere! And I know for a fact we left that field practically running and there was a 'piece' still sitting there!!

So to pay the little stinker back I'm seeking my revenge. I call this piece:

CAUGHT Playing with my sisters princess computer without wearing any pants! HAHAHA, take that BRANDON!

Love, Mommy


  1. This was so funny! I know all about peeing boys. The jus let it all hang out, don't they??

  2. hilarious. at least mom always gets the last word, or photo!

  3. Great ammunition - you can also use it when he's a teenager and misses his curfew!

  4. You know, I would have expected this stuff from my son but instead get similar things from my daughter! Though I do remember him going through a boobies phase when he was about 2 1/2. Oh too funny...

  5. Haha! So funny about the feminine products and I'm just dying thinking about that popcorn kernel. I would have been so relieved it came out, but ICK! Thanks for linking this post up too with #findingthefunny!

  6. It's funny to think about not but it was so embarrassing when it happened! :) Thank you all for commenting!


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